IF IT'S ABOUT HIM, CALL ME GAY - by Catalyst ✍️

"Catalyst, what's wrong with you? How can you love a man this much?" "You are a gay!" Those were the words that followed me out of the room, but I also can't help it, even though i feel disgusted at the thought of "gay". But, if it's about him, you are welcome. Don't call me gay ooo, I fit tear you slap. I just say make I remind you before we continue. It was years ago, I met him at a convention (believers gathering), then I wasn't in the world but I can't be called a saint either. A brother introduced him to me in one of the group sessions we had then. He introduced him to me as a friend. But over the years, he has grown to be much more than a friend. Back then, I didn't give him face because I didn't understand him and I felt like I didn't need him, but I had a glimpse of who he is. Until a day came, when I really needed his help. You know that kind of situation where you find yourself searching through your phone and you realize you only have numbers and not contacts? Exactly that one. All I needed was money to pay my school fees oooo. Mom had tried her best, but I was still short of thousands to pay. I called everyone possible, people I call friends, and even family related by blood and bond, but none could help. Deadline was few hours to go then. Big boy cried ooooo!😭 That was the first time I knew the definition of "I don't have appetite". I lost every sense of reasoning join. Then I remembered him; my convention friend. But I was skeptical and doubting whether to contact him or not. "Will he even help?" Since that convention, I've not called him nor text him even though we vibed at the convention, after then the flame whoosh. Though I boast about him on my status regularly, but I never sent him a DM. Funny how he react to my status, yet I don't feel remorseful about it. I was regretting it then ooo. I later made the decision to call him. (All die nah die, make I pay school fees first, I go dey save face later). I picked my phone to call him but I couldn't find the right words so I decided to send a text. "Good evening, dear friend". I deleted the text because I didn't give him the opportunity to be one. Instead, I recorded a voicenote... "Hi, it's been a while. How have you been? Hope you've been good? I'm sorry for not messaging or checking up on you for a while now. I'm a bad person I know. But please, I need your help! I need a few thousands to sort my school fees. I remember you said at the convention that if I ever need anything I should ask, though I know I'm undeserving right now, but please don't forsake me".🥺😭 See manipulation, that's when I understood how far we can go when we are cornered. I clicked the send button and it delivered. Few minutes later. Blue tick, fingers crossed. Then to typing, heart thumping, sweat rolling, tears waiting for another round. 🥺 It was a mixture of inexplicable emotions. Then notification light up the screen. "Adama added a post on Tiktok, check it out". I almost cursed then I saw another notification that increased the pressure. "Emmanuel, how have you been too? Longest time, it's so good to hear from you... Come and see the ease, I exhaled after who knows how many minutes of holding breath. The response shows how excited he was to hear from me. One of the things I still hold with me till date from his response is " I should always trust him even when I think I'm undeserving". (He helped with the school fees before the deadline elapsed. He really showed me the power of nepotism, and what it really means to have someone you can call anytime.) Ane since then, he has come through for me in ways I can't explain. So, when you see me ogle around him, acting all clingy, dance undignified in his presence or laugh with no steeze, you can call me "gay" because you don't understand how well JESUS has come through for me in ways. I love a man more than anything. And for that you can call me gay. So yes, " IF IT'S ABOUT HIM, CALL ME GAY".

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