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270
Bigdan
I'm Jobless writing stories @ Guardian of Planet Mars
I'm Jobless writing stories @ Guardian of Planet Mars
I'm Too Weak to Write
<p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>I think I've written enough for one lifetime. At least, that's how I feel right now.</p><p><br/></p><p>For weeks, I've been writing about Nigeria, about the things happening around us, the people making the news, the ones making promises, and the ones giving us reasons to ask questions.</p><p><br/></p><p>As a journalist, the work never really ends. One story leads to another. Before you finish processing one event, another one happens. You read, investigate, write, edit, rewrite, submit, and move on.</p><p><br/></p><p>Somewhere in between, you forget that you are also a human being.</p><p><br/></p><p>Now, I want to write something for myself. Something that doesn't need a headline, a deadline, or an editor waiting on the other side.</p><p><br/></p><p>But look at me. I have opened a blank page and I am staring at it like it owes me money. And the first letters that comes to head? I O U...</p><p><br/></p><p>The funny thing is, I have plenty to say. My head is full of thoughts, stories, jokes, complaints, and things I probably shouldn't say out loud. But when I try to put them into words, nothing comes.</p><p><br/></p><p>I am too weak to write. ("Ebola Left?" ... My latest piece.)</p><p><br/></p><p>Not because I have lost the ability. Not because the stories have dried up. I think I have simply spent too much of myself telling other people's stories.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe writers get tired, too. Maybe the people who always seem to have the right words sometimes need to sit quietly and allow the world to make sense without trying to explain it.</p><p><br/></p><p>Today, I don't want to be a journalist. I don't want to be clever. I don't even want to make sense.</p><p><br/></p><p>I just want to be a man who is tired.</p><p><br/></p><p>And if this little piece makes it to TwoCents, then I guess I have written something after all.</p><p><br/></p><p>Funny how a man can write about being too weak to write and still manage to finish the piece.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe that is the problem with us writers.</p><p><br/></p><p>Even when we are tired, the words won't let us rest.</p><p><br/></p><blockquote>Sometimes, the best thing a writer can do is stop writing for everybody else and give himself permission to breathe.</blockquote><p><br/></p>
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