MAD - by Doubra✍🏾

Adetola: Can we stop using the word mad. I go to the psychiatrist to get some prescribed medication, you'll indirectly ask me if I'm doing okay upstairs Sarah: My dear, the thing just dey tire me, therapy ,I go to on the weekends is like a battle field at home, my mummy is carrying broom to flog me, because she believes it's witches and wizards, you'll hear Mummy Adetola, so I call my mummy Mummy Adetola, you'll hear her saying Ife , Ife , (are you mad in Yoruba?), After having a well paying job, taking care of me and your father, you want to go to the asylum, abi is it husband, I have been telling you to find a man and settle down, but no oo, you want to go to mental health clinic for therapy, as how now? Adetola: Honestly I think we need to redefine and enlighten people about therapy, mental illness and staying mentally fit. Sarah : Yes,a lot of times, we're shocked when people we know and people we love don't understand how we feel and act insensitive to us when it comes to our Mental health. They seem shocked when we want to talk about it and it feels like a new topic, don't you think so? Adetola: I don't think it's a new topic, I feel people are not enlightened enough about this particular discussion,Now let's look at Teenagers Today, there's a high rate of depressed teenagers, this may be due to parental neglect, abuse and even not having someone to talk to.Depression is caused by different reasons and it's not just one, even body changes can make a teenager depressed. But most Nigeria end it as oh,he needs to go to religious outings,to mingle with good influence neglecting what the child needs. Mental Health Care. Sarah: Now you are saying Mental health care, now how do you expect Mama bisi that's frying Akara and has 7 more children to go to a trauma center or hire a therapist? Do you think it's possible? Adetola tell me the truth, let's be realistic and not sugarcoat things here. Adetola: Honestly, I don't expect Mama Bisi to hire a therapist,now look at it Mama Bisi sells Akara right and I'm not judging any woman for being hardworking but Imagine all the hustles of the day, Have you ever wondered if Mama Bisi had time to talk to Bisi. Do you know a parent can be a therapist to a child when they listen to that child? Instead of always looking for the fault in Bisi's house chores. I agree she's concerned with food, clothing and even homework but when was the last time she sat down to ask Bisi if she's fine! When last did Papa Bisi come home and everybody did not scatter like a tyrant , only looking to ask Kunle why he did not come to lay bricks with him after he returned from school . Now looking at that family's situation, I'm sure they must be thinking of how to pay school fees,how to get money for medications,how to survive. Trust me last thing on that man's mind is his child's mental health. Remember house rent is counting and he will not pause to settle down and think of his own mental health. Sarah: My question now is how do you fit in a busy life with mental health? How do we promote maintaining your mental health while you still struggle with life's anxieties and a tight pocket ? Adetola: Well when you say a tight pocket,Are you implying financial resources not really available? Sarah:Yes, what else again? Adetola: You can compare pocket and being stingy, Honestly it's not going to be easy,but I feel we could start with enlightening people that it's okay to visit a therapist when you feel emotional burdened,it doesn't mean you are mad. It's okay to seek medical assistance when it comes to your mental health,You are not mad for doing so Sarah: But do we have mad people Adetola: This one don dey turn interview,Well, I'd say, Calling someone mad nowadays is more like an insult than saying the actual reality,we have words like mentally unstable,Schizophrenia, ADHD,OCD, panic attack, anxiety and many more words to describe different mental health challenge than just suming up all those conditions to a single word "MAD" Sarah: But how do we sick help now,due to the fact that we lack some certain medical support and the fact that people do not have the money to treat mental health challenge? Abi it's until we start working around naked, that's when we'd know that this person needs assistance? Adetola: So your friend goes off on the group chat,no messages in weeks, you know you regularly do monthly check ups due to the distance and a busy schedule, and you've not heard from this person and you say you love but you are doom scrolling at midnight feeling lonely when you could practically take a nap and wake up early to text that person,if you could give them a call. Even if you think that person would not appreciate it, you are not in that person's head,stop assuming that your friend has a perfect life because of an Instagram post Check up on them, and you that's doing all the caring, take care of yourself too,join a book club or something. The aim is to do something that makes you happy because no one will give you that level of happiness that you deserve and I hope you know that. Now going back to Mama Bisi,she obviously is a busy person and this is to every teenager like Bisi who may be going through depression, mental breakdown or something not expecting like your body changing and a new introduction to a new phase in your life, it's h ard finding a balance with your emotions and your current situation , You can start playing sports at school,start a routine,read more books, listen to music or simply be kind to someone else. That'd make you pour those negative feelings into something else. And please don't be afraid to feel just because you are trying to heal. Whenever you want to cry, when you want to talk, talk to somebody Sarah: So, So now what if a child has mental challenges they can't control or maintain, should they abandon that child, because I've looked at many cases of families who either throw the child away, kill the child or simply let the child roam the house till the child is grown. In that situation what do parents who are not financially capable of taking care of this child going to do? Adetola: Well they could ask for help,go to a medical clinic to see the price it will cost them. Everybody deserves to feel better when they're not feeling fine. I'd it's not okay, look for an NGO that offers help to children with mental health challenges,they could look for grants too. There's always help when you look for it, Trust: Now let's move the mic to Cara, Lase, Nimmat Chidinma and Esther They'd be talking about depression, ADHD and suicide. Sara: Ok, I think I have a question Trust: Sure go on Sarah: Do suicidal thoughts come with depression? Lase: Not everyone who is suicidal is depressed. Definitely. I've seen people with schizophrenia who are suicidal. People with Borderline personality disorder who are suicidal. Even people who have gone through something traumatic like rape, death of a loved one, losing their money in a bad investment etc can become suicidal Cara: I actually thought suicide was because of deep feelings of sadness, Like depression idek how to put it, But let's look at schizophrenia,it can cause depression Which would bring out suicidal thoughts. Lase:It may lead to ptsd not depression and the person could still be suicidal Nimmat: Naaaa a traumatic experience can also lead to suicidal thoughts. Cara: I thought it would lead to depression first, then the suicidal thoughts Nimmat: I think someone can become suicidal immediately after a traumatic experience, like rape. It doesn’t necessarily mean they were depressed first the trauma itself can leave them feeling like they can’t cope with what just happened. Cara: I see Lase: Yup that's it, I'm not sure schizophrenia causes depression, But depression is more than just sadness. Cara: Noted. Trust:So I was just thinking, do you think there's a space where you can say, you have the perfect mental health? And how do people make that happen? Cara: I highly doubt it Nimmat: I honestly don’t think perfect mental health exists . You can be in a really good place mentally, have healthy coping mechanisms and be emotionally stable, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again. Life itself can mess with your mental state. So I think making it happen is less about being perfectly okay all the time and more about knowing how to take care of yourself when you’re not okay. Cara: Worddd Chidinma: To me, there is nothing like perfection. There's good, great, okay, but never perfect. A persons mental health can't be in top shape considering the world we live in and the society we find ourselves. Making it happen is a matter of finding something else to stabilize and distract you. Trust: Yes, so Cara, I'd like to know, do you have any questions for us? Cara: I think so, I want to ask about children's mental health Trust: ok Cara: Do you believe a parent should take their child to a phycologist or psychiatrist when the child exhibits symptoms of mental health disorders, or do you believe they should handle it on their own? Lase: Yes they should. They should totally take their children to a psychiatrist Cara: I see Chidinma: Most children exhibiting signs of mental disorders usually develop these things from nuclear (close) circles. It could be the parents exhibiting some strange patterns, friends attitude and behaviours, characteristics of relatives and many other things. Children are easily influenced and triggered, so parents seeking a psychologist is a good call, especially if the parents or anyone close is responsible for their current mental state. It's like sharing your problems with the source and expecting the source to understand. Ruth: interesting 🤔, Cara: Even when it's ADHD or OCD? Chidinma: They do not cause ADHD or OCD. Instead, they influence how these conditions manifest, how severe the symptoms become, and how well the child learns to cope. Cara: I'm not saying anything causes ADHD or OCD. I'm asking if they should still consult professionals if the kids show signs of these disorders Lase:I don't agree. Children don't develop these symptoms because they see it in their parents Cara: I agree with Lase, Mental illness is not contagious Chidinma:How do you differentiate ADHD from other conditions? Lase: You go for an assessment from a professional Chidinma : Yes, parents are not professionals so they can't give professional advice on health challenges, especially when it comes to their children. <img src="/media/inline_insight_image/1000372371.png"/>I didn't say it is contagious. I'm saying, certain behaviours around a child can influence their minds easily. A household where parents have screaming contest, neglecting their child, can affect a child's developing brain. A child whose friend group is always talking about negative things or discuss negative thoughts can trigger or worsen anxiety or depression. Cyber bullying,seclusion from peers, rejection can traumatise a child. Highly critical relatives- those one who always nitpick, can make a child feel low and small All of which can affect a child's mental health. Cara: I think I understand your point more clearly Chidinma: Thank you Ruth: I've think Esther has something to say Esther: I'd like to take us back regarding having a perfect mental health Ruth : ok Esther: I don't believe there's a perfect mental health There are lots of things that affects the mental health.A whole lot of things that's out of our control. But instead I believe that we can get to a point where we don't have constant mental breakdowns and we know how to handle our mental health properly. Trust: So I'll like to take us back a little Ruth: You guys, please be fast oo🤭 Trust: I want to answer the question Cara asked regarding taking our children to a mental health clinic Ruth: Sure Trust: I believe they should take them there, so many crazy people moving as adults and most people didn't realize they needed to go to the psychologist cause of these beliefs "I'm going to be fine". Well news flash you can only get a solution when you go to a psychiatrist, and I certainly don't believe people should handle (parents especially)to handle mental disorders on their own, they should look at it like an illness that can kill that child and stop using religion to cover it, like saying things like "oh, he is possessed, or ay woo oooh, my son or daughter needs healing," So people will come at me for saying this and note I'm not saying this to target anyone or hurt anyone, I just think they should visit the doctor for mental health disorder, Esther: This depends on the kind of child.Children are different, some children would work well and open up more to a psychologist than their own parents.While some hate it when professionals try to pry into their head. I think a better way is for the parents to understand their child more and be very available and accessible to the child. Most times, that's enough to get the child stable again. Everything balls down to understanding the child and the point of view of the child.Therapy most times creates more distance between parents and their children. Ruth : I understand the different opinions, So Esther what do you think of Chidinma's question regarding differentiating from other conditions Esther: ADHD symptoms are kinda similar to other condition symptoms. If there's no proper accessment and observation. It could get mixed up. What I believe is the best way to differentiate is through proper examination.This should even be done by a professional. Ruth: Do children inherit Mental illness? Esther: Most times it's possible, most times it's hereditary Most times it could be something entirely different. That's what I think though. Ruth: Well,this has been an interesting conversation, Adetola: I love the fact that these ladies here pointed out that • We should seek help from medical professional to fix an Medical challenge we face. Remember it's not a bad thing. Trust: Thank you Ladies for coming together to share your views points on Mental Healthcare. I really appreciate. See you next time 🙃

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