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Freelance writer and Digital marketer @ I work remotely
Lagos, Nigeria
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Men are scum, what of women?
<p>Most of us have heard the saying above, often repeated all over social media.</p><p>Men are scum.</p><p>It’s catchy and easy to remember, almost like a slogan. For years, society has often highlighted men’s roles in relationship issues, pointing to heartbreak, ghosting, and emotional distance. Not that they are wrong; Men can be crazy sometimes (and wicked, and manipulative). But this sometimes leads us to forget that unhealthy relationship behaviors can come from anyone, regardless of gender.</p><p>Women can be scum, too.</p><p>Please, hear me out.</p><p>Sometimes, whenever I hear a problem in a relationship, I’m very guilty of asking What did he do? ‘but in some cases, it is what SHE did.</p><p>Now, have you watched Season 4 of Netflix’s Perfect Match? The show basically reminded me that toxic behavior is not tied to any gender.</p><p>For example, Jimmy. P often changed his mind when someone new entered the room, confusing everyone, including his romantic match, Ally. But Ally also confused Jimmy when it came to picking other partners. She had even made out with the new guy who stepped into the house while still being with Jimmy. P.</p><p>Now, I’m not shaming, but in this case, both of them were ready for a genuine relationship.</p><p>If we always blame one group, we might miss an important point. Men and women can be toxic to each other. While some men’s mistakes are obvious, women’s mistakes might be less so, sometimes more subtle or strategic.</p><p>Again.</p><p>I’m not trying to start a debate; my point is to show both men and women can contribute to the dynamics that lead to relationship problems. It takes two to build or break a strong relationship.</p><p>The real truth is that it takes two to make or break a relationship; That’s all I am trying to say. So next time someone says, “Men are scum!” at brunch, remind them: “Anyone can have flaws, regardless of gender.”</p><p>If you need drama, please go and stream Perfect Match season 4.</p><p>You’ll thank me later.</p>
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