MY ATTENDANCE IS NOT MY EDUCATION

**My attendance is not my education. And Thursdays? Thursdays are my enemies. 😭😂** I have a serious issue with Thursdays, and I don't think my department understands how much I dislike that day. 😭 Let me explain. There's usually nothing fixed for 9–11 a.m., but sometimes, out of nowhere, we get information that we have practicals. So you can never really be too sure. Then there's the 11 a.m.–1 p.m. class. It rarely holds, and when it does, it's either I cannot hear the lecturer or he comes late, spends a few minutes with us, tells us to go and read, and come back with questions. Okay. Fair enough. We should read. But then comes the class that is supposed to start by 2 p.m. This lecturer once asked us to come early during our break so we could start early. And honestly, I don't understand half of what he writes on the board or explains in class. The funny thing is, I'm not even saying I can't understand the course. I genuinely believe that if I sit down with my materials, take my time, and study, I can understand it. And if I can't, I can ask someone to explain it to me. But sitting in that class for hours? Ehn. 😭 Sometimes, I genuinely feel like I'm wasting my time. And before you ask, no, I'm not saying I don't want to learn. I WANT TO LEARN. That's the whole point! But imagine spending four to five hours of your day, sometimes even more, attending classes and still having to go home to teach yourself what you were supposed to learn in the first place. Now add the fact that I sometimes have to trek to school and back because I cannot afford to spend money on transport every single day if I don't want to go broke. So I trek. I attend classes. I try to listen. I try to understand. I sit through hours of lectures, and somehow, I still have to come home and study. By the time I get home, I'm exhausted, drained and famished. 😭 And the most annoying part? If I tell my friends I'm not going to school, the way they look at me ehn. 😂 You would think I just confessed to committing an academic crime. "You're not going to school?" "Why?" "Are you not serious?" And I'm there wondering whether attendance is now the same thing as understanding. Unfortunately, we have a 75% attendance requirement to write our exams, so it's not even as if I can simply decide that I'm better off studying on my own. I HAVE TO BE THERE. Even when I know I might not understand anything. Even when I'm tired. Even when getting there has already cost me money or physical energy I would rather save. And that's where my frustration comes from. **I don't want to escape learning. I just want to learn in a way that actually works for me.** Because what exactly is the point of spending hours in a classroom, struggling to follow what's being taught, only to go home and start learning it all over again? I know attendance has its importance. I know that being physically present can help us learn, ask questions, and interact with our lecturers. But I also think we should be able to admit that being present and actually learning are two different things. Sometimes, a student can sit in the front row and understand absolutely nothing. Sometimes, someone who stays home, studies independently, asks questions, and works through the material might understand more. And sometimes, the student who looks unserious is simply frustrated because the way things are being done isn't working for them. I'm not saying lecturers should stop teaching or students should stop attending classes. I'm just saying that **attendance should be a means to learning, not the only evidence we use to judge whether a student is serious.** Because some of us are genuinely trying. We're trying to learn. We're trying to pass. We're trying to manage our money, our time, our energy, and everything else that comes with being a student. And honestly, some days, it's a lot. Anyway, if you need me on a Thursday, please check the classroom first. If I'm not there, I'm probably at home trying to understand what I couldn't understand in class. 😭😂 **Now, I have a question for you.** If you had to choose between attending a lecture where you barely understand anything and staying home to study the same material at your own pace, which would you choose? And if your school made attendance compulsory, how would you feel about that? Let's talk, because I genuinely want to know whether it's just me. 😭

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