Growing up in an African household, I began to notice something that I don't think we discuss enough: the way some Black African parents take away their children's freedom to think, explore and develop independently.

Everything has to be controlled. Everything has to be commanded. A child wants to build something, experiment with tools, take apart an old appliance or pursue an unusual interest, and suddenly it's considered child's play. It's seen as a distraction, something unnecessary, or simply a waste of time.

But why?

Why do some parents feel that everything a child does must fit into their own understanding of what is useful? Why is obedience often valued more than curiosity? Why must a child's interests be dismissed simply because they don't look like the conventional path to success?

When I was younger, I had a strong interest in making things. I wanted tools, especially a hammer, and even old appliances that I could experiment with. I would use sticks and nails to create things. It wasn't just a dream I had occasionally. It was something I genuinely felt connected to. I wanted to explore, build and understand how things worked.

But asking for those things was difficult. My interests weren't taken seriously. There was always the expectation that I should be studying instead.

I understand that parents have their own experiences, fears and ideas about what will make their children successful. But sometimes, in trying to prepare a child for the future, they end up restricting the very qualities that could help that child create a different future.

A child should not have to abandon curiosity to prove that they are serious about life. Education matters, but so does independent thinking. So does experimentation. So does the freedom to make mistakes and discover something without being constantly told what to do.

I don't want to become that kind of parent.

When I have children, I want to approach their upbringing differently. I want to understand their interests, give them room to experiment and allow them to develop their own ideas. I don't want to impose my entire understanding of life on them simply because I am their father.

I have lived with the experience of having parts of my curiosity restricted. I don't want my children to inherit those same restrictions.

Perhaps the greatest lesson I can take from my childhood is this: don't raise children merely to become obedient versions of yourself. Give them the freedom to become people you may not have imagined.

I have learned from my experience, and I hope other parents and future parents can learn from theirs too.