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Dr. Onu
Student @ University of Abuja
Student @ University of Abuja
The Pain of Carrying Someone Else’s Pain
<p>Imagine loving someone who no longer feels the same way about you.</p><p>They don't give you much attention anymore. Sometimes you message them and they take a long time to reply. You ask how they are, and they simply say, “I'm fine.”</p><p>But you know they aren't.</p><p>You can feel it from the way they talk. You know something is wrong, even when they don't want to explain it.</p><p>So you keep asking.</p><p>You keep checking on them.</p><p>You keep trying to make sure they're okay.</p><p>And this is where something strange happens.</p><p>You are already hurting, but you still find yourself trying to carry their pain too.</p><p>This person doesn't love you anymore. They may not even realize how much their distance hurts you. You may even discover that they're giving someone else the attention you once wished they would give you.</p><p>And somehow, you still worry about them.</p><p>You still want them to be okay.</p><p>You still don't want them to suffer.</p><p>Think about how painful that is.</p><p>The same person who is becoming one of the reasons you're hurting is also the person you're trying to protect from pain.</p><p>You're carrying your own sadness while trying to make theirs lighter.</p><p>And sometimes you don't even tell them how much you're hurting, because you don't want to add your pain to theirs.</p><p>So you stay quiet.</p><p>You support them.</p><p>You tell them everything will be okay.</p><p>Then you put your phone down and sit alone with everything you were feeling.</p><p>That's a strange part of human emotion.</p><p>Sometimes we don't stop caring about someone just because they stopped caring about us.</p><p>We can be hurt by someone and still worry about them.</p><p>We can feel replaced and still hope they're happy.</p><p>We can be breaking inside and still ask, “Are you okay?”</p><p>Maybe that's why some pain is so difficult to explain.</p><p>It isn't one feeling.</p><p>It's love, rejection, helplessness, jealousy, concern, loneliness, and acceptance happening at almost the same time.</p><p>And the hardest part is that you can understand every part of it and still not know what to do with the feeling.</p><p>Maybe the deepest pain isn't simply loving someone who doesn't love you anymore.</p><p>Maybe it's having enough love left to care about their pain while you're still trying to survive your own.</p>
The Pain of Carrying Someone Else’s Pain
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Dr. Onu
Dr. Onu
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