The Three Musketeers

THE BATTLE It’s break time, and Bolaji traverses the crowded hallway, seemingly in a rush. He passes by a group of girls singing Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You.” GIRLS: I’m in love with the shape of you, we push and pull like a magnet to— BOLAJI: Although my heart is falling too, I’m in love with your— Abeg, shut up and get out of my way. GIRLS: See this one. He ignores the girls and rushes to his class, where he finds Abdul and Chidi arguing. BOLAJI: I hope you guys haven’t finished it. ABDUL: It’s you we’ve been waiting for. CHIDI: I hope say you’ve bought the drinks. BOLAJI: Of course. Abdul, you wanted Fanta, right? And Chidi, you said Coke, right? ABDUL: Yes sir. Give me. CHIDI: I hope say e cold. The boys begin to feast. It is customary for the boys to share their food. They each take turns buying drinks and snacks for the others from the school shop, and today it is Bolaji’s turn. Meanwhile, Gabriel the Giant walks through the hallway, following the same path Bolaji took. He passes by the same girls, who are still singing. GABRIEL: Excuse me! His voice is so deep that it frightens the girls, and they instantly stop singing. He walks to the SS1B classroom and barges in, where he finds the boys having a feast. The boys immediately get off their seats and offer him one. Gabriel is so big that he towers above everyone in sight. Hence the nickname: Gabriel the Giant. GABRIEL: Chidi, come with me. Chidi leaves with Gabriel and returns alone a few minutes later. ABDUL: What did he tell you? CHIDI: He said some boys from Apex Academy beat one of his boys, so there’s going to be a fight between our Eagle Wings College and Apex Academy. He wants us to join him and his boys. The fight is today by five PM. BOLAJI: Say less. I’m in. ABDUL: For sure. Chidi, what of you? CHIDI: Which kind useless question be this? I go deal with some Apex boys today. ABDUL: Na so. --- After school, the boys meet at Chidi’s house to prepare for the fight. ABDUL: I go chop person papa today. BOLAJI: I go burst like five people mouth today. CHIDI: Your own small. Me, I wan clear like ten people today. ABDUL: It’s almost five. Make we dey go. The boys head out for the battlefield, brimming with excitement. No sooner have they left than Chidi’s sister, Ngozi, emerges from the shadows. She had been hiding nearby and overheard their entire conversation. She immediately seeks out her mother to give her the intel. NGOZI: Mommy!!!! She tells her mother about the fight. CHIDI’S MOM: I see. Were you able to obtain information on the location of the battle? NGOZI: Negative. I couldn’t find out the location of the battle. CHIDI’S MOM: I see. Chidi’s mother immediately goes to the Neighborhood Mothers’ Association WhatsApp group and informs them of the situation. She arranges for an emergency meeting at the NMA command centre, otherwise known as her kitchen. --- The boys arrive at an abandoned warehouse, the location of the battle, where they meet Gabriel and about twenty other Eagle Wings boys. GABRIEL: You guys sure took your sweet time. What took you so long? BOLAJI: Well, actually— GABRIEL: It doesn’t matter. ABDUL: So where are the boys we’ll be fighting? CHIDI: Abi them dey fear? GABRIEL: Well, actually, there’s been a slight change in plans. The leader of the Apex boys contacted me earlier. He requested a meeting and promised to offer an apology. ABDUL: Which kind apology again? BOLAJI: Make we just chop them papa. GABRIEL: Are you questioning my judgment? CHIDI: No… no, sir! GABRIEL: Good. Now follow me. They’re waiting for us inside. They enter the warehouse, where they find a group of boys standing around a table. Three of them are seated at the table. One of the men stands up to greet the Eagle Wings boys. It is Idris Shehu, the leader of the Apex boys. IDRIS: Welcome, welcome, Mr. Gabriel the Giant. It is an honour to meet you. GABRIEL: Spare me the pleasantries and cut to the chase. IDRIS: In a rush, now, are we? Well, have a seat then. Gabriel takes him up on his offer and sits at the table. Seated on one side of the table is Idris, known on the streets as Idi Escobar. Seated beside him are two of the top-ranking members of the Apex boys: Wale, known as Jackson, and Michael, known as Mike Tyson. Seated on the other side of the table is Gabriel the Giant. To his right sits his right-hand man, the second-in-command of the Eagle Wings boys, SS3 student Bayo, known as Black One. Beside Bayo sits the finance officer of the Eagle Wings boys, SS2 student Peter, known as Bill Gates. Tensions are high as the heads of the two rival groups come face to face. --- Meanwhile, the NMA members have assembled at the command centre. Numerous Vibe Pontiac cars belonging to NMA members are parked outside the Johnson family residence. The NMA—the Neighborhood Mothers’ Association—is an organization that has risen to prominence over the last few years. Its membership consists mainly of the older women of the town. The organization was founded by Chidi’s mother, Big Madam, to tackle the then-prevalent Area Boys crisis that had plagued the town for years. Rogue boys and thugs were running rampant, wreaking havoc all over the town. In response, Big Madam assembled the neighborhood mothers and formed a sort of militia that cracked down on Area Boys and gangs operating in the town. The group has since undergone massive growth and expansion, so much so that it now resembles a professional military organization. A major factor behind their success is their vast information network, originally known as the Little Sister Division, but now officially designated the INTEL Division. The NMA meeting commences. The NMA Commander-in-Chief and the various section commanders are seated around the round table—the Johnson family dining table. MADAM: Welcome, ladies. Do forgive me for calling you all here on such short notice. I know say fuel scarcity dey, but the situation is quite urgent. As I’ve already informed you all on the WhatsApp group, I received some distressing intel from one of my best agents— She pauses. MADAM: Ngozi. Ngozi proudly nods. MADAM: Some boys are planning to start a fight in town, and we must stop them. The Section 5 Commander, Mrs. Theresa, interrupts. MRS. THERESA: If I may interject. With all due respect, Commander, your very own son is involved in this. What do you have to say about that? Your own pikin dey among the culprits. If you no go fit control your own pikin, how you wan take control all the boys for this town? E no make sense. Section 2 Commander, Hajiya Aisha, immediately interrupts her. HAJIYA AISHA: Mrs. Theresa! This is not the time for this. Please focus on the matter at hand. MADAM: You’re absolutely right, Mrs. Theresa. Someone who can’t control her own son is unfit to lead the NMA. She pauses. MADAM: That means both you and I are unfit for the role. Four boys were caught smoking last week. Among them was your eldest son, Junior. So tell me, Theresa, how are you any better? The women burst into laughter, but Mrs. Theresa is not amused. HAJIYA AISHA: That is a topic for another day. Our next course of action should be finding the location of the fight. FAROUQ: Precisely. You’re absolutely right, my dear mother. The women are startled. Everyone turns toward the entrance. Farouq has appeared out of nowhere. His mother, Hajiya Aisha, is equally surprised. HAJIYA AISHA: Farouq, why are you here? FAROUQ: I thought perhaps I could be of assistance to the NMA. Big Madam leans back in her chair. BIG MADAM: I see… She gestures toward him. BIG MADAM: I’m listening. TO BE CONTINUED… MORALS OF THE STORY - Don’t start fights.- Don’t join gangs.- Don’t underestimate the Neighborhood Mothers’ Association.- Never underestimate your little sister’s intelligence network.- And most importantly: if your mother finds out where you’re going, just know say operation don spoil.

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