A Wife Is Not Your Punching Bag

Let me tell you something, and I want you to think about it honestly. How can you claim to love a woman and still raise your hand to beat her? I'm serious. How? I know a wife can be wrong. She can say things that hurt you, make decisions you disagree with, or even behave in ways that frustrate you. I'm not saying women are always right. No. Both men and women can be difficult partners. But tell me, when your wife offends you, does that suddenly make her less human? Does it mean you now have the right to slap her, punch her, or use your strength to teach her a lesson? Because she's a woman? My brother, what exactly are you trying to prove? You are physically stronger, perhaps. But is that strength meant to protect the person you claim to love, or to make her afraid of you? Think about it. This is someone who may have trusted you enough to build a home with you. Someone who sleeps beside you, shares her life with you, and may have stood by you when things were difficult. And now, the same person has to calculate her words and watch your mood because she doesn't know when an argument might turn into a beating. Is that marriage? Is that what you wanted when you said you loved her? And please, don't tell me she must have done something to deserve it. There is a difference between holding someone accountable for their behaviour and physically abusing them. You can be angry without becoming violent. You can disagree without destroying someone's sense of safety. Now, let me talk about something that troubles me even more. What happens when the man doing this is a pastor, an elder, or a respected man of God? Imagine listening to a man preach about love on Sunday, watching people raise their hands as he teaches them how to build godly homes, only for his wife to return home with a completely different experience of that same man. How do we explain that? You can know the Bible and still treat people badly. You can preach beautifully and still fail in your own home. A title in the church does not automatically make you a good husband, and being respected by a congregation does not mean your wife feels respected behind closed doors. And if the church knows what is happening but chooses to protect the man's reputation instead of taking his wife's safety seriously, then we need to talk about that too. God's name should never be used to silence a woman who is being hurt. My brother, if you are reading this and you have ever beaten your wife, I am not asking you to pretend you are perfect. I am asking you to face what you have done. Stop making excuses. Get help to change your behaviour. Take responsibility without blaming her for your violence. And if you are the kind of man who believes your wife must fear you before she can respect you, please understand something: fear and respect are not the same thing. A woman can become silent because she respects you. She can also become silent because she is tired of crying, tired of explaining herself, or afraid of what you might do next. Don't confuse the two. Marriage does not make your wife your property. Her mistakes do not cancel her dignity. And your position as the head of a home does not give you permission to hurt the person living in it. I believe a woman should be able to disagree with her husband without wondering whether she will be safe afterwards. I believe a man should be able to correct a problem without turning his home into a place of fear. Is that really too much to ask? A wife is your partner, not your property. She is your wife, not your punching bag. And if you preach love to the world, please make sure the woman living with you has a reason to believe you. ©️Sammy Góld

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