At this point, I genuinely want to know what this word is supposed to mean anymore.

Because apparently, just because I dress with how I’ll appear to boys AND girls in mind, I’m male-centred?

Yes, I dress with how boys will see me in mind.

SO WHAT?

I also dress with how girls will see me in mind. I dress because I like clothes. I like looking good. I like putting outfits together. Sometimes I want to look attractive. Sometimes I want to look intimidating. Sometimes I want to look pretty. Sometimes I simply want to wear something because I really like it.

When did a woman dressing well automatically become evidence that she's dressing for male validation?

And while we're at it, when did dressing how you want to be addressed turn into dressing how you want to be undressed?

Because apparently if a woman looks attractive, people have decided that the only possible reason is that she wants men to want her.

Maybe I just like looking good?

Maybe I want people to look at me and think, “She knows how to dress.”

Maybe I want compliments from women.

Maybe I want to feel sexy.

Maybe I want to feel beautiful.

Maybe I want absolutely nobody's attention and still want to look really amazing.

A woman can dress up without being male-centred.

And this is where I think we've completely bastardized the word “pick me.”

A woman who constantly puts other women down to gain male approval? Sure. Call that out.

A woman who performs a personality because she desperately wants men to choose her? Fine.

But a woman who disagrees with you?

A woman who criticizes another woman's behaviour?

A woman who refuses to automatically take a woman's side?

A woman who says, “Actually, I don't think the man is wrong here”?

Suddenly she's a PICK ME.

For the love of Christ.

Since when did being a woman mean I have to automatically agree with every woman simply because we're women?

I don't subscribe to “men are scum and women are saints.”

I don't believe that.

And I don't understand why saying that is controversial.

Men can be horrible.

Women can be horrible.

Men can be victims.

Women can be victims.

Men can cheat.

Women can cheat.

Men can manipulate.

Women can manipulate.

And if I point that out, somehow I'm seeking male validation?

You dare to call me a pick me because I think objectively?

No.

I'm not going to hate a man simply because he's a man so that you can feel like I'm a good woman.

And I'm not going to defend a woman simply because she's a woman.

If a woman cheats, I'll call it cheating.

If a man cheats, I'll call it cheating.

The standard shouldn't suddenly change because the person involved is a woman

And don't even get me started on this new version of “women supporting women.”

Because apparently supporting women now means supporting whatever  a woman does.

You'll see women commenting “GO GIRL!” under a post encouraging a woman to leave her man because he isn't spending enough money on her.

And I'm not saying women shouldn't have standards.

Want a generous man? Fine.

Want a man who pays for dates? Fine.

Want a provider? Fine.

Have your standards.

But why does supporting women suddenly require us to pretend that men don't have feelings?

You have brothers,fathers

Some of you will have sons.

You want a man to buy you everything your father never could afford, but suddenly he's useless when he asks to split a bill?

You scream equality until equality stops benefiting you. And women can absolutely be wrong.

Sometimes you could support a girl by telling her when she's making a completely unreasonable decision, you don't have to tell her she's right.

You can love a woman and still tell her she's wrong. You can support women without supporting every single thing a woman does.

You can be a woman and disagree with another woman without secretly wanting to be a man.

PLEASE stop throwing “pick me” at every woman who refuses to participate in the “men bad, women good” narrative.

Because at this point, “pick me” doesn't even seem to mean a woman seeking male validation anymore. It seems to mean,"A woman who isn't agreeing with me.”And those are two very fucking different things.

So if your definition of a “pick me” is simply a woman who thinks for herself, disagrees with you, dresses attractively, acknowledges that men have feelings, or refuses to hate men on command,then maybe the problem isn't that I'm a pick me.

Maybe you're just angry that I can't be picked into your narrative.