SACRED THINGS SHAMEFUL THINGS: COSPLAYING MATURITY

When I see people trying to rush or cosplay maturity, it irks me. Why would you do that? Maturity, alongside other things, is to me overrated. Because you don’t have to be mature to BE mature. Mature was that boy who always won neatest and most reserved back then in class.Whilst he was just a kid with no friend and severe social anxieties. Mature was the girl who always took care of everyone else.They called her responsible.Yet no one asked who was taking care of her? Mature was the child who apologized first.They called her humble.Nobody noticed she had simply accepted that keeping peace was easier than asking for an apology. Mature was the girl who always swallowed her anger because she didn’t want to cause trouble.They called her humble.Nobody asked what happened to all the anger she’d been swallowing? Mature was the girl who stopped asking questions because every question became an argument.They called her respectful.Nobody noticed she’d simply learned silence was safer. Mature was the girl who knew how to comfort everyone else but couldn’t tell anyone when she needed comforting. Mature was the girl who was insecure about her body, yet was expected to laugh along when the boy mocked it because apparently cruelty was just another way of saying “I like you.” You could be going through depression and people would see it as you being mature. And you know why?Because people don’t care. People only care about how convenient your behavior makes them, rather than why you’re behaving they way.Take for instance me. I’m a teen.A child. I’ve been called a lot of things. Carefree. Immature. Irresponsible. And it doesn’t bother me. Why not? Because I know I’m none of those things. I’m not in a rush to grow up. And if I’m a child, let me have the room to be a child. Let me be emotional. Let me make mistakes. Let me learn. I feel people use being mature as a cover. As an excuse. To skip problems they’re not ready to deal with. People would downplay your emotions rather than accepting fault then tell you to be mature. They’d tell you you’re older “be mature”. You should know better. “Be the bigger person” And because time goes by so fast. You barely notice. By the time you do, you’re old. Then you start to wish you’d been you. That you hadn’t tried to cosplay maturity while you were still a kid trying to figure herself out. That you didn’t act 40 while you were still 14. So why don’t I make the best of my immaturity while I still can. If I’m too young to make certain decisions how am I suddenly old enough to know better when my emotions are involved. Why don’t I be allowed to grow at my own pace. While I can still learn from my mistakes. While there’s still time. Before I become old and frail. And perhaps bitter, venting my pent-up anger on younger people because they choose not to make the same mistake I did. Because they refused to act above their ages. While I mourn what could have been. What happens when the oppressed becomes the person enforcing the rules? What happens when the person who has somehow convinced herself that suffering was the price of being good and respectable doesn’t want to believe she paid that price for nothing? What happens when the girl who was once told to suppress herself grows into the woman who now teaches others to suppress themselves? What happens when someone goes from “I wish I was allowed to do that”? To “if I wasn’t allowed you shouldn’t too”?

Other insights from Ara Bambi

Contributor Points

Points-to-Coupons

Referral Earning