The Perfect Accident: Chapter Two

“Amir, are you cheating on me?”He didn't answer immediately. He stood there with the towel in his hand, looking at me and then at the phone. I could tell he was trying to think of what to say.“Nimmat, give me my phone.”“Answer me first.”“Why were you going through my phone?”I stared at him. “Because I saw a message from a woman telling you that you promised to call her. Then I opened the messages and found pictures of both of you. What exactly did you expect me to do?”He looked away and sat down.“She was my girlfriend before I met you.”I felt my stomach turn.“Mariam?”He nodded.“So you knew her before me?”“Yes.”“And you're still seeing her?”He was quiet.“Amir.”“We started talking again.”“After we got married?”He nodded.I sat down opposite him. I didn't even know what to say at first. I kept looking at his face, waiting for him to tell me there was some explanation that would make everything I had seen less painful.Instead, he just sat there.“How long?”“A few months.”I laughed quietly. “A few months.”“Nimmat, I'm sorry.”“Were you going to tell me?”“I don't know.”“Does she know you're married?”“Yes.”“And she knows about me?”“Yes.”I looked down at the phone. There were so many messages between them that I didn't even want to scroll anymore.“What does she want from you?”He sighed. “I don't know.”“You don't know?”“She still has feelings for me.”“And you?”He didn't answer.I looked at him. “Do you still love her?”“Nimmat, please.”“That's not an answer.”He rubbed his face. “I care about her.”I felt something inside me break.“You care about her.”“I didn't mean for any of this to happen.”“But it did.”He nodded.I wiped my face. “So what happens now?”“I will end it.”“Are you serious?”“Yes.”“You're going to stop seeing her?”“Yes.”“And you're going to tell her?”“Yes.”I looked at him for a long time. I wanted to believe him, but I didn't know if I could anymore.“You promised?”“Wallahi.”I nodded, although I wasn't convinced.That night, I slept in the spare room. Amir knocked on the door once before going back to our room, and I could hear him moving around for a while before the house became quiet.The next morning, he left for work before I came downstairs. I found his cup on the dining table and his plate in the kitchen. Everything looked normal, which somehow made me feel worse.I called my mother later that morning, but I didn't tell her what had happened. She asked how Amir was and whether we were doing well.“Lafiya, Mama.”“You sound different.”“I'm just tired.”She was quiet for a moment. “Nimmat, komai lafiya?”“Eh, Mama. Lafiya lau.”“Okay. Just take care of yourself.”“Amin.”I ended the call and sat on the bed for a while.I thought about telling her. I even picked up my phone twice to call back, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't ready for the questions, and I wasn't ready to hear someone else say out loud that my husband had cheated on me.That evening, Amir came home with food from one of my favourite restaurants. He put the bag on the table and looked at me.“I bought this for you.”I looked at the bag.“You didn't have to.”“I know.”I opened it and saw the food I liked.“Thank you.”He sat across from me.“I meant what I said yesterday.”I didn't answer.“I'll fix this.”I looked at him. “I don't know if you can.”“I'll try.”I nodded and started eating.For the next few days, things between us were uncomfortable. We weren't fighting anymore, but we weren't normal either. Sometimes Amir would try to talk to me and I would answer him without really looking at him. Other times, he would sit beside me in silence.I was trying to decide whether I could forgive him.It wasn't something I could answer immediately.A week later, things seemed a little better. Amir was coming home earlier, and he wasn't taking his phone everywhere anymore. I didn't ask whether he had spoken to Mariam again because I was afraid of the answer.One evening, while we were having dinner, his phone rang. He looked at the screen and turned it face down.I looked at him.“Why didn't you answer?”“It's not important.”“Who is it?”He smiled. “You still ask too many questions.”I gave him a look.“I'm just asking.”“It's my brother.”I nodded and continued eating.He reached across the table and touched my hand.“Nimmat.”“Yes?”“Are we okay?”I looked at him.“I don't know.”He nodded slowly.“I understand.”I went back to my food.At that point, I genuinely wanted to believe that the worst part was behind us. I thought Mariam would eventually become something from our past, something Amir and I would talk about years later and perhaps wonder how we survived.I had no idea that I had only seen the beginning.

The Perfect Accident

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