Dear Esther, Ask Faye - EP. 1

WAS BIGDAN EVER RIGHT? BigDan had a problem. He had written too many things. Not because he created TwoCents. He didn't. He was simply one of the oldies who had been there from the beginning... arguing, observing, contributing, disappearing, returning, and occasionally dropping one of those lines that made everybody say, “Hmm.” Years later, Esther had started reading some of those old insights again. She wasn't impressed. “Who gave BigDan permission to sound this confident?” BigDan looked up. “What did I do?” “You wrote this.” She read: “Sometimes, you don't miss the person. You miss who you were when you were with them.” Faye nodded. “That’s actually good.” Esther frowned. “Is it?” Big Dee laughed. “Here we go.” John sat down. “This should be interesting.” BigDan smiled. “I still stand by it.” Esther looked at him. “Completely?” BigDan hesitated. “Well…” Faye immediately pointed at him. “Look at that. The philosopher has developed doubt.” BigDan ignored her. “My point was that sometimes we think we're missing a person when we're actually missing how they made us feel.” “That makes sense,” John said. “But sometimes you actually miss the person,” Esther replied. “Exactly,” Faye said. BigDan looked around. “So what's the argument?” “The argument,” Esther said, “is that you people take complicated human experiences and turn them into one beautiful sentence.” Big Dee nodded. “Then people put the sentence on Instagram and use it to end relationships.” John added, “Sometimes before breakfast.” Everybody laughed. Esther picked up another one. “If they wanted to, they would.” BigDan smiled. “That one is simple.” Faye shook her head. “No. That one has destroyed enough relationships.” “How?” “Because wanting isn't the only problem.” She counted on her fingers. “Fear. Money. Timing. Family. Distance. Confusion. Poor communication.” Big Dee added, “Stubbornness.” John said, “Pride.” Esther added, “Sometimes laziness.” BigDan sighed. “Okay. Fine. Maybe it's not that simple.” Faye smiled. <blockquote>“Most human beings aren't equations.”</blockquote> The room went quiet for a moment. Because that was the uncomfortable truth behind a lot of TwoCents wisdom. People aren't equations. Someone can love you and still hurt you. Someone can miss you and still refuse to call. Someone can be sorry and still repeat the mistake. Someone can be good and still make a terrible decision. And sometimes, someone can leave without being your enemy. BigDan leaned back. “So what are we saying? That all advice is useless?” “No,” Esther said. “We're saying advice should come with humility.” Big Dee nodded. “Especially relationship advice.” John looked confused. “Why especially?” Faye laughed. “Because everybody becomes an expert immediately after heartbreak.” <blockquote>“Everybody becomes an expert immediately after heartbreak.”</blockquote> BigDan smiled. “Some of my best writing came from heartbreak.” Esther looked at him. “And some of your worst decisions probably did too.” The room exploded. BigDan pointed at her. “That was personal.” “It was accurate.” He had no response. John slowly raised his hand. “I have a question.” Everybody looked at him. “What if the person who wrote the advice doesn't believe it anymore?” Silence. That question hit differently. Because BigDan knew the answer. Sometimes we write what we believe. Sometimes we write what we wish we believed. Sometimes we write what we need to hear. And sometimes we only understand our own words years later. Faye looked at everybody. “Maybe that's what TwoCents is.” “What?” <blockquote>“People documenting what they think they know before life teaches them something else.”</blockquote> BigDan smiled. “That is actually profound.” Big Dee shook her head. “Don't start writing it down.” Everyone laughed. Esther closed her phone. “So, BigDan, were you ever right?” BigDan thought for a moment. “Sometimes.” “Wrong?” “Definitely.” “Which one more?” BigDan looked at Faye. Faye looked at Big Dee. Big Dee looked at John. John shrugged. “That's why we're here.” And perhaps that was the real point. TwoCents was never supposed to be a book of commandments. It was a room full of people trying to understand life. Faye leaned back and smiled. <blockquote>“Sometimes wisdom is just a mistake that has survived long enough to become a sentence.”</blockquote> Nobody laughed this time. Because everybody knew somebody who needed to hear it. Esther finally smiled. “Okay. Episode One is done.” BigDan relaxed. Then she added: “Next episode, we're investigating Esther.” His smile disappeared. Big Dee screamed with laughter. John stood up. Faye grabbed another sheet of paper. And BigDan suddenly understood the first rule of this new TwoCents family: <blockquote>“Everybody gets to ask questions until it's their turn to answer them.”</blockquote> THE FAMILY TAKEAWAY Don't turn somebody else's experience into your universal truth. A quote can be beautiful and still be wrong. Advice can be useful and still need context. And sometimes the person giving the advice is simply sharing the lesson they are still learning. Also, never write anything you don't want Esther to find ten years later.

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