Jobs I’m Not Comfortable Seeing Men Do: Part 3— Massage Therapist

I don't even know how to explain this one because I know some of you will probably look at me like I'm crazy, but I genuinely don't think I can get a full body massage from a man. I just can't. Maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe I'm not, but imagine going to a spa because your back is paining you and the person says, “Your therapist is ready.” Then you look up and it's a man. Omo. I'll just look for another spa or go home. 😭😂😂Because what am I supposed to do? Lie down there and relax while a whole man is massaging my body? At that point, my body will become my biggest enemy because I'll suddenly become aware of everything. Is my stomach making noise? Am I breathing weird? Why does this towel feel so small? Why am I thinking this much? 😂And imagine the massage actually dey sweet me. 😭 Like imagine he presses one particular place on my back and e dey sweet me for my punani somehow. Chai. What am I supposed to do with that information? 😂 Then my body decides to make one small sound. Just one tiny sound. I will leave this earth. I don't even need the man to react. The embarrassment alone will finish me. I'll just sit up and say, “Thank you sir, I'm okay now.” 😭😭And please, massage people, why do you always tell someone to turn over like it's the most normal thing in the world? 😂 Imagine me already struggling to act normal and then, “Okay, you can turn over now.” Turn over to what exactly, sir? 😭 At that point I'm just following instructions and hoping my dignity survives the session.I feel like the funniest part is that the therapist will probably be completely normal. He'll finish the massage, collect his money and move on with his life, while I've spent the entire one hour fighting for my life internally. 😂 He won't even remember me tomorrow and I've already created twelve embarrassing scenarios in my head.Some of you will probably say I'm doing too much, and maybe I am. 😂 But if I have a choice between a male therapist and a female therapist, abeg, give me the woman. I want to actually enjoy the massage instead of lying there wondering what my body is doing every two minutes.Imagine paying money to relax and coming out more stressed than when you entered. 😭 Abeg, that one is not for me.And that's Part Three: Massage Therapist. Now be honest, ladies, can you actually relax if na man dey massage you? 😭😂

Jobs I’M Not Comfortable Seeing Men Do

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