MISS CRAMPS VS MISS WOMAN ⚖️ - by Adanne 💕 Chisom 🌺

Defense Lawyer:Your Honour, I stand before this court today to defend my client, who has been wrongly accused and defamed countless times by women. It is unfair to judge someone without hearing the other side of the story. So, if you permit me, My Lord, let my client come forward and tell her side of the story. Prosecutor:Objection, My Lord! Judge:Objection overruled. Let the defendant come forward. (Cramps slowly stands up from where she has been resting on her mother, Menstruation’s, shoulder. Menstruation holds her hand tightly. Tears are visible in Cramps’ eyes as she walks toward the witness stand. The judge looks at her pitifully.) Defense Lawyer:Miss Cramps, can you tell us what really happened that month? Cramps:(sobbing) Judge:Just calm down and talk, okay? Cramps:(still sobbing) That month, as usual, the uterus spent the first part of the cycle preparing for the Grand Visitor. She built up her lining, making sure it was thick and comfortable enough in case our visitor decided to show up. Then, around the middle of the cycle, ovulation happened. She released an egg, hoping Mr. Sperm would show up so we could finally welcome our Grand Visitor. But guess what? Mr. Sperm never showed up! (The courtroom gasps.) We waited. Nothing. We waited some more. Still nothing! As the days passed, there was still no pregnancy. So the uterus started preparing to get rid of the lining she had spent the whole cycle building. But we told her: “Wait a little longer!” So we waited. The end of the cycle came. Still no visitor. No pregnancy. Nothing! At that point, the uterus had had enough. The lining began to break down, and chemicals called prostaglandins were released. (The courtroom murmurs.) Those prostaglandins told the uterus: “Contract! We need to get this lining out!” And the uterus started contracting. And that... (Cramps pauses and wipes her tears.) ...was when I showed up. The pain. The suffering. That was me. CRAMPS! (The courtroom gasps dramatically.) But was it my fault?! I didn't make the uterus contract! I didn't release the prostaglandins! I was simply the pain caused by those contractions! And then Miss Woman started calling me all sorts of names! She said I was the reason she was suffering. She blamed me for the pain, the nausea, the dizziness... But was it my fault?! I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB! (She bursts into tears.) The uterus did the contracting! The prostaglandins gave the instructions! I was just the pain they created! They prepared for nothing! They waited for nothing! The Grand Visitor never came! And somehow... I became the villain?! (Cramps breaks down crying.) Defense Lawyer:You can see, Your Honour! My client is the victim here! She has been blamed for a crime she did not commit! She was simply carrying out her duties! Judge:(stares at Cramps pitifully and sighs) Hmm. This case is becoming more emotional than I expected. Let's go on a break. This court is adjourned. Court Clerk:All rise! (Cramps continues sobbing as she leaves the stand.)

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