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193
Soulscribe
Student @ University of Ibadan
Student @ University of Ibadan
NOTHING
With
<p>I am that playful chinko. Always cheerful. Smiling. Laughing. Creating BEAUTIFUL CHAOS. The parrot. The arguing type. No backing out. The popular jingo. The life adviser. The relationship counsellor.</p><p><br/></p><p>Behind closed doors is another version. A different one. Unimaginably so.</p><p><br/></p><p>The one who cries silently so no one hears. The one with scattered, swirling emotions. Thoughts clashing. Responsibilities flashing. The cracks in the armour of the 'STRONG' girl. A facade it is, duh.</p><p><br/></p><p>Streaks of tears flowing like some broken water fountain. Wiping them off. Dripping nostrils. Shaky shoulders. Shoulders that stood like rocks for THEM. Clenched fists. Hands that were a source of comfort to THEM. A cracked voice. Swollen, reddened eyeballs.</p><p><br/></p><p>Beautiful songs that once made you smile now hit like taunts.</p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes, I think of my diary, and I spill everything I feel, everything that has happened. A confession of sorts.</p><p><br/></p><p>And of all the sentences, one stands out:</p><p><br/></p><p>"I AM TIRED."</p><p><br/></p><p>I really am.</p><p><br/></p><p>If only I could get just a little pat while I cry, without having to hide. A voice that whispers, "All will be okay." Someone to tell me, "You are not in this alone."</p><p><br/></p><p>Not with that kind of PITY look.</p><p><br/></p><p>Just the kind that says, "I understand, even if I am not in your place."</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe I wouldn't hurt this much. Maybe I would be able to stomach anything without breaking. Maybe my heart would feel a little better.</p><p><br/></p><p>Whatever. Whichever.</p><p><br/></p><p>I don't know what to say anymore.</p>
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