It's another week again, 

Passing by

I feel the wind again, 

The cold evening breeze

Passing by 

But I feel the knots in my tummy again. 

This time it's different. 

I have those thoughts lingering again. 

And it all comes back to you. 

Why? 

Is it the after effect of a break up? 

Or 

Is it my heart refusing to let go? 

Hmm...!

I wonder. 

You say you have trust issues. 

Trust me when I say this 

I can't fight that, 

I can't convince you enough, 

Infact, 

I don't know how to explain this feeling I'm having.

But let me try. 

I feel happy that you were vulnerable in public 

But with that vulnerability, 

I'm scared. 

I'm scared of people.

Yes, they'd call me a witch

A wicked girl for saying this, 

Curious why I say so. 

Just let me finish. 

I feel like it takes a lot for a man to come out in public to address a matter in public. 

I took this out and it has exploded. 

We don't talk anymore. 

You call me I don't pick 

I call you and you text back and reschedule your activity for us to have a call. 

And I felt lonely, 

With someone that still makes time for me after we've broken up. 

Babe

Am I still allowed to call you that ?

Let's leave that aside. 

I feel like 

I was not speaking to you about how I was feeling. 

I always knew you cared,,

I felt lonely, 

I didn't want to be disloyal and lose a wonderful soul like you. 

So I kept my distance too. 

I started hanging around with my thoughts while I was with you. 

Trust me it was a lonely place to be. 

I miss your presence, 

I miss us. 

When we're not writing on TwoCents about this beef that doesn't want to end. 

Trust me when I say this, 

We can put out a whole episode on

Emmanuel and Trust reply to each other on TwoCents but it won't be the same. 

It won't be the same when no one is watching,

It won't be the same because we continue to pretend we don't want to be with each other.

Your brain can stand at the door asking me for an ID but it would always come back to me.

Na me talk am ( Quote me anywhere).

Now,

Look at it

You wake up in the morning by 5am and you think about me.

By 10 am when you are thinking about me 

Infact the whole day you are missing me

And 

How do I know?

You beep call me everytime you wake.

I saw the missed calls,

5am exactly for five days.

And your brain needs an ID.

Let's leave that aside

10 am,

You call my gate man every single day to know if I left early or not. And You don't say what time did she leave, you will say 

Did she take lunch with her?

I want to send her food or 

any other day , 

You use flowers to cover up.

And that my loud mouth gate man will not fail to deliver.

( Madam dey rush for morning,how she go carry food)

Now,

So every single time I leave early 

You call me around 12pm

 because you know by then,

 I'll be free to go and take a walk.

So we have time to talk.

If I leave late,

You call around 4pm on the dot to ask how the traffic was,

For me to talk about what made me leave home late in the morning.

When you don't want to seem predictable, you call at random times,a beep call (aka flash),

So you won't intrude.

And 

Your brain needs an ID.

Emmanuel,

It's not today we started a relationship.

Even after this break up,

You will call to say

Hmm, I thought to ask you if you have eaten?

Or 

How is your day going?

Short calls,

Saturday, Sunday,Monday, Tuesday and on the fifth day you said.

"The call was a mistake" 

Hmm,

Was it?

4pm,

I was late for work preparing a presentation,came back home by 9pm,

2 missed calls,

One at 4 

Another at 11

When we usually have our FaceTime,

Hmm...

Can you trust me?

Not such if I phrased this question well,

Can Emmanuel trust Trust?

That's a question only Emmanuel can answer.

I love you,

And 

I'm ready to work on us.

But are you willing to be vulnerable enough to show that you care?

The ball is in your court.

Trust issues.

God damn it,

I should be the one not trusting you, my gate man and the system I never knew that existed.

My gate man especially.

But

I trust you,

I don't know why,

I just trust you.

Not blindly.

I trust you.

And 

About 

Us.

Let's take our time.

Do you want us to work? 

Or

Are you just making excuses to be a part of my schedule?

Not sure.

But I trust you.

Take care.

I love you 🤍

But I want to say, 

This chill in my tummy gives me that feeling I get

When I eat sundae on Sunday

I miss us ❤️